After the hours of pain, I am alone. Hurting. Empty. There is no peace here, even at night… There is no peace anywhere.

My views were formed as a person who had never experienced the reality of being responsible for more than my own life. My core problem anytime…

You kept me company on the sleepless nights as I counted each crack in the ceiling and pondered my almost nonexistent list of options. I felt your presence while I missed everything else.

I think I’ll never get back to sleep. Unnerved by the stress, the fear, the loneliness. I’m not sure how to explain the wonder and the desolation that I felt, so I won’t. I was already lost without you. I’m so sorry I can’t keep you safe. I would give anything if I could. I don’t know how I am going to leave here empty and sore and aching. I don’t know how. But I will.

6 thoughts on “Heartache”

  1. Йовко, спането ще го оправим, стига да се съгласиш да получиш специализирана помощ. А за останалото цяр няма… 🙁

  2. if a heart is broken do not try to understand why it happened that way – fill the emptiness, be the emptiness itself and when you know you are all alone in the entire world you will realize you had your good moments in the past and now it is time to step into the future, and when you get there sat down and look at the past – isn’t it beautiful, all that happened was even for a single second something you will never forget – a smile, a word, keep that in your broken heart and you will understand that it is full of love again just because it had felt real pain; time will pass, seasons will change but you will remember her – nor her face, nor her voice, they are so far away, you will feel her true and deep love and in this very moment all the pain will be gone – you loved and were loved truly and deeply and even for a single moment it is for enough for a whole life; a single goodbye and nothing more, just the rest of us…you will never be the same, you will never know…the only thing you will hear adn see now is a lonely song of Sade and all the cracks in the ceiling…it was love and is still love, nothing melts into the emptiness it just turns into something else, call it friends, work, duties, flowers or a warm meal – you will love again just because this is all that matters – the love that creates us, the love that tortures us, the love that helps us, the love that destroys us – that is all we have – love…that is what we give you – love… so stand up and wash the dishes, watch TV, enjoy the live – it is a new beginning full of light and opportunities…it is life…

  3. Когато прочетох личната ти страница за първи път преди месеци (мисля тогава още нямаше блог) те помислих за камък човек. Е явно любовта (без значение от какъв вид) влияе по един и същ начин на хората. В повечето случаи боли. Мисля никой не може да помогне със съвети. Може би само присъствието на приятели помага. Останалото е разбиране и поглед от друг ъгъл. Пожелавам ти да можеш да виждаш и хубавата страна на това, което ни се случва.

  4. Всъщност май не съм камък човек въпреки, че се е случвало и самият аз да съм си мислел такива неща за себе си 😉

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